In an interview by the Washington Post back in 2023, author and Washington Post opinion writer Christine Emba was asked what the modern man looks like today, as well as what society might expect of him. In other words, what she thought had caused the masculinity crisis.
She responded,
“The modern man looks confused. In my research, I talked to young men around the country, really, and sort of asked them what they thought it meant to be a man in this day and age and whether being a man had become harder over time. And so many of them said that, yes, it had become harder because they no longer knew exactly what their place was in the world. In a really personal sense, you know, they've been brought up with at least some masculine ideals of being the provider, perhaps being a man in the house, taking the lead in some ways, and yet they saw their female friends and classmates surging ahead, you know. When it comes to college education, for example, there are only 74 men getting college degrees for every 100 women. When they used to rely on sort of strength and physical prowess and be able to depend on that in the workforce, they're realizing that soft skills are sort of what is looked for in the new economy. There's no longer really the possibility of sort of getting a male factory job and providing for a whole family for the rest of your life.”
The common thought we hear from across the opinion sphere and repeated out of research-land is that American men suffer from a modern masculinity crisis. Every major newspaper seems to have included its own voice proposing what’s wrong with today’s man and the generations coming up. People describe men as feeling “purposeless,” or left behind in a world that no longer requires their physical strength, prowess, and earning power.
Interestingly enough, publications that ardently waved flags in support of the feminist march across society suddenly wondered, “What happened to our men?”
Unfortunately, their solutions often rely on some form of, “Men need to catch up and learn from others,” or “They need to open up about their feelings.”
As though testing the waters with “unique” positions, USA Today published an opinion column by Andrew Sciallo titled, “What’s the Matter with Men? ‘Real Masculinity’ Should Look to Queer Community, Gen Z.”
He opines, “What straight men could learn from queer men – aside from a host of stylistic, hygienic, and sex tips – is to have a greater zeal and lust for life. What we’re seeing from the misery of men is the product of patriarchal conditioning. While we know straight white men are the beneficiaries of our capitalist patriarchy, they are also unknowingly victims of it.”
But he doesn’t finish there. He continues, “They [his students] have changed my view on this crisis of masculinity. This violent pushback we’re witnessing from men is a mere projection of their own self-hatred. The outburst we see from men is but a symptom of their grief. They are slowly realizing they are on their way out.”
The Truth About the Masculinity Crisis
The truth is men have always been in crisis. While the West inspects male nature and masculinity through a tunneled lens, the breadth of humanity has dealt with masculinity in some way, shape, or form since the beginning of time.
In Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity by David D. Gilmore, extensive studies explain various cultures and their approach to manhood in great detail.
In those cultures, a masculinity crisis exists. However, it’s not because the group questions the standards. The crisis is the personal struggle of the man trying to fit the standards.
For instance, the Dodoth tribe of Northern Uganda rate each other in the hierarchy of manhood based on the ability to gather cattle, kill enemies (who have cattle) when needed, and become a “fearsome cattle rustler.” (pg. 111) Only when the Dodoth man proves himself in the act of rustling cattle and taking spoils can he then be allowed to marry a wife.
In New Guinea, the men most revered by the tribe are called “Big Men.” They work hard, gather a massive abundance of resources, share those resources in generous ways, direct the tribe, and command well in battle.
The Mehinaku, located deep in the Brazilian forests and relatively unchanged by the limited touch of the modern world, exhibit traits we might find in common. While the tribes value peace over war and do not desire battle, wrestling match victories can make or break a male’s chance to mate. Alongside physical prowess, the men are expected to risk life and limb for weeks at a time to gather food through distant fishing expeditions. Not only that, but theft is commonplace between the villages. This encouraged pilfering provides men with a collection of valuables, showing their ability to gather items of worth and out-compete their fellow villagers in a lifetime game of “it’s mine.”
Even the Bible gets in on the masculinity crisis within the first few chapters. By Chapter 3, Eve is deceived into eating the fruit, which God forbids Adam and Eve to do. Scripture says in Genesis 3:6, “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.”
God gave Adam the instructions and placed the responsibility upon him to steward the garden as well as his wife. Considering Eve “gave also to her husband with her, and he ate,” we reasonably assume that Adam was there the whole time yet stayed silent.
Adam should have stepped between Eve and the serpent. He should have spoken up. But the man failed in his role and responsibility as a man. He suffered a crisis of purpose and masculinity through inaction, and we as men continue with the same fate.
What is The Masculinity Crisis?
It didn’t start 50 years ago. It didn’t start 100 years ago. No true golden age existed in which all men knew exactly who they were. While the men of today’s society seem to be flailing more than usual in at least pursuing masculinity, the men of yesteryear always struggled with developing their own masculinity. Our crisis is that of what the standards should be. Theirs has been meeting those standards.
In every tribe, civilization, country, and people group, standards of what it means to be a man exist. Even though some may lament the existence of standards, they exist for a reason. Men must be developed on an individual basis. They must grow from boyhood into manhood and the standards of masculinity provide some guidance on how to achieve it.
Unfortunately for men today, many in the West work hard to redefine masculine standards. They do so by decrying hard work, strength, protection, provision, physicality, stoicism, courage, and more. After all, the American Psychological Association itself reminded us that stoicism, aggression, dominance, and competition are linked to toxic masculinity.
In reality, the masculinity crisis in modern America is a result of us attempting to redefine the standards of masculinity without understanding that a man’s identity crisis exists no matter what. It’s the presence of standards (which are necessary) that will beat down any man who does not live up to them.
Men live in a constant masculinity crisis because we are products of self-development. We are fully responsible for achieving or failing those standards. The drawback is that we struggle to feel as though we truly achieved the standards. After all, no horns or sirens go off when we’ve met the standard. It exists in the presence of the fruit of our labors. Hence, when a tribesman in New Guinea is able to collect massive amounts of food and share it with the tribe, he’s presenting physical evidence to the entire tribe that he is a man who is not suffering from a masculinity crisis.
The individual endeavor of the man will always be against himself, as well as the tension of social hierarchy. We coordinate and cooperate with other men; however, we also compete. It’s a measurement against others to find the standard. When society attempts to wipe away the standards themselves, men are left flailing about in a muck of permanent adolescence.
How do you Solve the Masculinity Crisis?
First, you must accept that you cannot avoid it. Removing capitalism does not do it. Capitalism did not create a masculinity crisis. It is merely a vessel through which men can attempt to achieve the standards of masculinity. You cannot remove the standards because they exist within natural law, outside of our ability to engineer them out of existence. Only in our arrogance can we believe that some utopia exists on the other side in which men find no need for standards of what it means to be a man.
In other words, you cannot solve the masculinity crisis by redefining, removing, or avoiding the standards of masculinity.
Solving the masculinity crisis means seeking out and embracing the most accurate versions of masculine standards. It means men raising boys to recognize the standards and give them the tools to achieve those bars.
To develop men and battle the masculinity crisis, we must accept that the crisis will always exist on the individual level. Plenty of men in society will suffer and struggle because they do not meet the standards...and they know they don’t. Just as Jesus said that we will always have the poor among us, we will always have the men who have masculine identity crises. What matters is the percentage of men who are wallowing in the masculinity crisis.
Most importantly, we look to the truths placed in front of us by Christ Himself. Who was He as a man? What virtues, standards, and truths did He extol? Embracing his life as a great example provides us with every necessary sign of the standards, which God laid deep within a man’s DNA.
The masculinity crisis did not start with the modern age. But we sure as heck have exacerbated the issue by trying to change the definitions on the fly.
To find out what some of those standards Christ set Himself, please be sure to check out the series I’ve put together called 7 Virtues of True Men, found in our blog at Theforged.org. In it, we put forward those virtues which, when implemented, will solve the masculinity crisis for every man.
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