Selfishness vs Sacrifice
We live in an age of selfishness. From advertisers to teachers scratching itching ears, we’re told we all deserve _________. By promoting selfishness, the world delegitimizes sacrifice. However, selfishness carries a heavy price.
It creates in us true bitterness and discontent. It promotes hatred, jealousy, and fear.
Even though the epidemic seems to be a new event, selfishness and its resulting bitterness are not creations of modern consumerism and the social rejection of Christian morality. We forget that selfishness is as old as time.
In fact, not only do our oldest myths and legends repeatedly tell of men fighting their inner selfishness, but the tragedy of selfishness appears at the beginning of creation. Consider the fall of Satan, who wrapped himself up in pride and selfishness by desiring God’s throne. Worse yet, his jealousy of man’s relationship with God drove him to seek the destruction of men. Feeding off his selfishness-borne bitter resentment, he led Adam and Eve to reject God’s word by using their selfish desire for the things they thought God might be keeping from them.
What is Sacrifice?
Selfishness is self-preservation. When a conflict between self and others comes up, a selfish man will “sacrifice” another person to save himself. However, masculinity requires a different response. After all, a masculine man becomes the greatest servant of his fellow man.
In Matthew 20:25-28, Scripture says, “But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Throughout history, the greatest offerings to humanity came through sacrifice. Whether a man sacrificed his time, efforts, reputation, or even his life, a man’s sacrifice helped those around him.
A man commits a good sacrifice to improve the position of others. This is true servitude. A man who willingly lays down his life for others professes his love for them through sacrifice.
Look no further than the ultimate sacrifice: Jesus Christ. He gave up everything in Heaven to become nothing, live a perfect life, and offer Himself as a sacrifice both physically and spiritually. What was purchased with the sacrifice? Our eternal salvation. He truly went through Hell to give us that gift. To offer us something we didn’t deserve.
Christ says in Luke 17:33, “Whoever seeks to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.”
This is sacrifice. When we attempt to keep our life in all of its forms, we hold onto it selfishly. We pretend that the preservation of our life, possessions, status, reputation, wealth, or position will help us in the long run. The truth is, we cannot hold onto this life. We cannot retain possessions, status, reputation, wealth, or more for eternity. Only when we lay it all down, will God Himself replace it with something greater. Something that moth or rust cannot destroy. A Godly man, a masculine man takes his role as a sacrifice with love for those around him, and faith that the law of the Kingdom of God upholds righteous sacrifice. In simple terms, God rewards those who sacrifice for His name’s sake.
A man learns of his own savior’s sacrifice in all things and therefore lays down his life for his God, neighbors, and friends.
Christ proves that sacrifice is an outpouring of love in John 15:13, when He says, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”
The Love of Sacrifice
Our love should drive us to sacrifice and away from selfishness or pride. When we truly love our brothers, sisters, children, spouses, and neighbors, we offer up those things of value that will purchase far more for others.
A man who offers up his life in defense of his family loves their lives more than his own.
A man who offers up his wealth in provision for a neighbor in need loves his neighbor’s health and well-being more than his own.
A man who offers up his reputation to defend another in a righteous cause loves his friend's reputation more than his own.
A man who offers up his time to give aid to a friend loves his friend’s time more than his own.
It’s not an easy road by any means, but grabbing hold of masculinity means letting go of the easy things. A man who makes no effort to push back against sinful nature becomes consumed by it. Just as a man living in the wilderness must act against nature at every turn, a man must act against his own nature.
Nature is Not Your Friend
Every animal and plant has developed defense mechanisms to survive in the wilderness. Who are we to think that harmonious living within nature does not mean acting against it or taking up defensive measures?
Much like living in the wilderness, a man’s own nature must be acted against with awareness and intent. A true man knows that his desire to be lazy, to shrink back, to rest in comfort, and to avoid responsibility is destructive.
This truth passes through all civilizations, with myths and legends warning men to avoid the siren’s call of pleasure and luxury, for it will deceive and destroy them. Every single civilization implores men to go against their desires and sacrifice for the good of others.
Remember, Adam was full of the Holy Spirit when he sat silent while the serpent deceived Eve. He forsook his responsibility. He was silent. He allowed himself to be “asleep” metaphorically (or perhaps he truly was sleeping?) when Eve was in danger. This led to sin. When we allow selfishness, laziness, desire, and comfort to control us, it will overtake us.
Sacrifice places our own desires, comforts, and wishes on the altar. We offer these things up and recognize that we are more useful when our attachments do not control us.
Meanwhile, as non-Christian cultures focus on the rewards offered due to the risks, Christ puts it all back in its proper position. He reminds us that we must serve our fellow men. He reminds us that no greater love do we show than to lay down our lives. He gives Himself as the ultimate example of loving sacrifice. The love and sacrifice matter. The rewards are up to God.
He proves this when He rejects rewards offered to Him by Satan. Before Christ’s ministry begins, Satan offers all the kingdoms of the earth to Him. Yet, Christ rejects those rewards. He knew the rewards of authority must be purchased through loving sacrifice. Hence, while the world lords it over others, the Kingdom of Heaven requires servitude to gain authority and responsibility. It requires us to prove we love and sacrifice before rewarding the action.
How Does a Masculine Man Sacrifice?
A man understands the trade-off. A man needs to provide for his family. He may sacrifice time with that family to provide the necessary provisions to keep his family healthy and fed. However, if he sacrifices his family on the altar of “provision,” he is no better off than when he started.
Love should be the driver of sacrifice. A man who loves first will recognize the tension of competing priorities. He may sacrifice time with his family for a season to achieve provision, but he recognizes this is not a long-term solution. He loves his children enough to know that his love must interact with his family. His wife and children need his presence, care, and effort. It’s the difference between putting food on the table and being at the table to eat the food.
In hunting cultures, the men leave the community and trek into the wilderness to get food for the tribe. They sacrifice their efforts, health, and lives to find food. Mind you, when they make the kill and gather the food, they don’t sit out in the wilderness and eat by themselves. They immediately bring the kill back to share with the community.
Love is the center of everything we do. It shows itself through sacrifice for others. This means being ready and willing to give up whatever comforts, possessions, time, efforts, or dreams we may have to provide and protect for others.
Good Men are not Doormats
At the same time, a good man does not become a doormat. He does not sacrifice for approval. In fact, he sacrifices his own reputation to ensure a person is loved with truth. If our neighbor must hear the truth or be provided a boundary for the well-being of all involved, then it is incumbent upon us as men to stand firm and deliver the truth. We sacrifice comfort, reputation, and quiet to do what is right for both our neighbor and us. Oftentimes, that sacrifice of reputation or good relationship comes about precisely because either our own well-being or another person’s is at stake.
If my neighbor is hounding my wife and eroding her well-being, then I must risk an altercation (whether verbal or even physical) to protect her. I sacrificed the easy road (which might be sitting on the couch and telling her to just avoid our neighbor at all costs) for the difficult.
A sacrificial man acts willingly in sacrifice through love and faith. He loves his God overall and has complete faith that God can be trusted throughout the act of sacrifice.
Look no further than Abraham who must sacrifice his only true son, Isaac, the seed of God’s promise. Abraham does not argue with God, delay in acting, or shrink back. He gets up early, heads to the mountaintop, and begins the process.
God never intended Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a human sacrifice. Instead, God tested Abraham’s faith to act on what he had been commanded to do. Even if Abraham didn’t understand the sacrifice.
A small hint of Abraham’s trust in the Lord is found in Genesis 22:5, “Abraham said to his young men, ‘Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there, and we will worship and return to you.’”
Abraham appears to be so full of faith in the Lord that he recognizes that both he and Isaac will return from the sacrifice.
A Life of Sacrifice
In a culture of selfishness, the life of sacrifice looks rather counter-productive. As we live our lives to serve God, we must die to ourselves daily. By communing with the Holy Spirit and living out our love for God, the power of sacrifice becomes exponential for eternity. We throw off the shackles of selfishness and pour ourselves into love and sacrifice for those around us. The beauty of becoming sacrificial through love is that our effectiveness for the purpose of God becomes all the more certain.
We provide ourselves as a willing vessel, ready to live out our faith that the Lord will not abuse our sacrificial love but will uplift it for His true and good purposes.
But to become true men of God, we must accept that filling ourselves with love for God and those around us means emptying ourselves of the selfish nature that drives so much of the world.
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