Are you weak?
Are you fat?
Are you smart?
Are you dumb?
STOP. Don't answer those. Please be kind to yourself for a moment.
Identity's Dangers
We typically don't think much about labeling ourselves. After all, saying, "I am fat," when you're 500 lbs... is fairly accurate.
(And no, you can't identify as a skinny person just by saying you're skinny.)
The trans crowd has been having a field day with identity. In fact, attempting to define identity has controlled the conversation on both sides for way too long. It's become an abyss of arguments and fights.
But we're having the wrong conversation. I believe there's a better way through this.
During my alone time with the Lord this morning, I came across some interesting thoughts about identity. Perhaps they'll help you understand the concept a little better.
My Internal Reflection on Identity
My thoughts started with frustration about my inability to get things done. The list is always there, but last night, the myriad of things to do made me feel incapable. From business to continuing education, to family, and into house chores - I felt like the lists never end and only grow longer.
My conclusion? I must be lazy. Stuff isn't getting done. And that's when the identity stuck: I am lazy.
How quickly it happened. How subversively it happened.
The apparent efficiency of labeling myself shocked me. No longer was I someone who struggled with various chores and work tasks throughout my day. Now, It defines me. I am lazy.
However, my skepticism took over. Who could define me as lazy? When did the line get crossed that I wasn't just battling priorities and a super busy schedule, but I was now identified as lazy?
Sadly, I took events, efforts, and desires and placed them all in a single category. I let them define me.
The question is: should I have let them define me? And did it matter?
The Identity Structure
Identity is a dangerous structure to take on.
If I determine "I am lazy", then it'll be a long road for me to get out from under that self-imposed identity. In fact, just placing the label over myself puts me in danger of submitting to that label.
Worse yet, I'll begin to structure my actions by that label.
If I determine, "Yes, I am lazy. I'm a lazy person," then I will do one of two things. I'll either do my best to buck against it, creating a life that revolves around proving to myself that I am NOT lazy. Or, I'll give in, decide that it will never change and that all I'll ever be is lazy.
It's pretty rare that we identify ourselves into a category and NOT allow it to direct our pathways.
The Logic of Identity
Now, you may think this is all mental mumbo-jumbo. We may call it psychoanalytical mysticism or some crap spouted out from a guy like Tony Robbins (who is actually more on the money with things than you realize…). But in reality, it's a logical process of our minds.
We work to categorize things. Tons of information inundates us every single day. So, what do our brains do to help cope with all the info? We categorize, find patterns, and discard stuff that doesn't seem to align.
The problem? We create identities out of those categories. That's why we generalize people. "Oh, she's got purple hair? She hates guys with trucker hats and big trucks." Now, I'm not saying generalizations don't have massive kernels of truth. But the problem is, she's likely to believe the generalization herself. She'll slip into auto-pilot and identify herself as "Woke" and therefore is an enemy of any guy with a beard and some chewing tobacco in his cheek.
We specially craft our personas for the world. We dress, act, and interact in ways that help create the image we wish to produce for the world. And before the self-righteous Christian gets vocal: they do it too. How many times have you seen pastors in certain denominations dress the same, wear their hair the same, preach the same, and pray the same?
We are looking to become one of a tribe based on commonalities, and our identifiers help determine that. But we internalize those identifiers, and that's a hard process to shake.
Sadly, we can do it with both positive and negative traits. For instance, most of us may agree that wearing a nice suit and regularly grooming ourselves is a good habit. But there are also plenty of people who so deeply believe their negative identities that they figure, "I might as well wear the uniform" and present themselves in the most unkempt, ungroomed way possible.
What to do?
I want you to think about the identifiers you use either subconsciously or even vocally. What labels do you use and not realize it?
(Don't forget, "I'm" counts as "I am." So think of each of those identifiers as "I am" statements.)
"I AM lazy."
"I AM fat."
"I AM smart."
"I AM beautiful."
Frankly, some people shy away from what could be considered the "positive" identities, because they fear being labeled as prideful.
While I think negative identities hold more danger than positive identities, I still feel identifying ourselves, in general, can create some rather complex confusion in our hearts.
Any identity outside of Christ should be circumspect.
Now, that doesn't mean we don't measure the facts about ourselves. But the beauty of facts is that they don't require immediate categories, and we can avoid creating generalizations.
Think of it this way:
It's not, "I am lazy." Instead, it's "Creating proper priorities and getting tasks done has been difficult for me lately."
It's not, "I am fat." Instead, it's "My body fat percentage is higher than what it should be. My body needs healthier food and more exercise."
I get it. This seems like it's splitting hairs or a little bit of playing with rhetoric. But I believe it matters a lot more than we admit.
The power of stating facts gives us things to focus on. Steps we can take. After all, a fact doesn't need to make a judgment on our identity or character.
And considering our propensity to take on an identity: we should be careful of confirmation bias with facts.
The Accuser's Role in Identity
Too quickly, the accuser gets involved. And he brings with him condemnation. After all, the accuser is more than willing to give you an identity. He knows that any identity outside of the one God has given you (who NAMES YOU) can drag you off course.
With identities comes the condemnations or final judgments. In fact, they don't even have to be negative. Obviously, ones like "I am lazy" can send us into a tailspin and get us focused on work instead of faith. But what about ones like "I am smart"? It can drive us away from the wisdom of the Lord and help us build up some rather strange defenses against God's will and knowledge.
He gifts us skills, talents, and abilities. But those do not define us. They are given to us and likewise can be taken away.
Imagine: You believe you're smart. You have a high IQ and can handle plenty of complex problems with ease. But a massive whap on the head with a baseball bat leaves you at a fraction of your prior intelligence. Your IQ was halved. Did your identity change?
No, you are still you. The problem is, if you use your intelligence as the identifier and wrap yourself up in it, then a massive tension exists. You must then define yourself as "dumb."
But that hurts. After all, you were smart.
Plenty of people struggle to cope with a change in identity. It causes a lot of problems. "I was this, but now I'm that!"
This is why I want to encourage all of us to rethink how we view our identities. A clean, beautiful, and powerful identity is, "I am bought by Christ. I'm His." That cannot be taken away by anybody. And no matter what state your body or mind is in, it can remain a truth. It is an identity that never shakes or changes.
To sum it up: beware of those identities you label yourself with. You may find that they control you more than you ever thought possible.
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