Little Steps to Big Discipline

I'm fascinated with the idea of discipline. We associate it with CEO's, athletes, and gurus of various niches. It seems to resonate with the average person, who either says, "I need more discipline," or "I wish I had more discipline."

Then, as though in a fit of amnesia, we forget about discipline and go about our daily lives. We put ourselves back on auto-pilot and wake up a few months later, wondering why we just can't seem to change something about our daily life habits.

I love the idea of discipline because I feel as though it answers so much. It becomes a useful tool, and dare I say the most important too.

While we may say you need passion, knowledge, or any mysterious combination of genetics and skill, the truth is that discipline stands as the central key.

I do believe we all have a genetic and environmentally-driven predisposition to the level of discipline possible in our lives, however, I also believe we all have the opportunity to improve what discipline we do have.

Unfortunately, we often fall victim to a few errors that keep us from building up that consistency which we can confidently label as discipline. Fix those errors by using the following techniques.

1) Build in Stages

Most people try to grow their discipline by piling on everything all at once. I know I've been one of those people. You want to get fit, improve your career, be a better family man, and grow in wisdom. All at once. So you decide to do everything all at once, and then wonder why it all falls apart within a week when normal life takes over.

And trust me, normal life will take over and sweep away any dreams you had of being uber-disciplined.

The people we see online who talk about their extremely disciplined lives are making a trade-off in their priorities. This means you may have to slowly work out old, useless habits that suck up time in really subversive ways.

How do You Deal With All This?

Figure out what steps of discipline you want to work into your life over the long term. After all, it comes down to what you are. Do you want to be a father who works out regularly and his children see his physical activity? Do you want to be a man who has conquered his career and is growing his opportunities? Do you want to be that husband and family man that leaves a lasting legacy through the family God provided?

This means slowly replacing those old habits that take you away from those goals. For instance, maybe you need time to work out in the morning. That might mean adjusting what time you get up (which means going to bed earlier) or fixing how long you sit on the toilet staring at your phone before getting going.

It might mean stopping the last minute rushing around and giving yourself some space to plug in that new habit.

But take it in small doses. Fix one problem at a time. If time is the biggest enemy of working out, then create a pocket of 15 minutes to get a short workout in. Once you have that down, then expand it to 30 minutes.

The truth of those small stages is reorienting yourself to align with the new values. This takes time and new habits formed.

Likewise, be on the lookout for things you've made a priority that are sapping your discipline.

I used to be adamant about not being on my phone for at least an hour after I got up. However, due to creating regular content, posting ads, getting website analytics, and planning the digital presence of my business, I've found myself checking my phone and the stats more and more first thing in the morning.

I've realized that my discipline has slipped in this area and I've built a habit that saps my focus and energy at a very vital moment in my day. This means I need to rebuild that stage of no phone for the first hour and bring those type of things back into alignment in another block of time during my day.

If I do that, I've disciplined two areas at once. I've got my morning time back to emotionally and mentally prepare for my day, and I've grown a work discipline that there is a time and place for those things, but they must be confined or they'll own me.

This leads to the next step.

2) Prioritize

We may think this should go without saying. But it needs to be reiterated. What habit do you want to transform into a discipline? Guess what? It needs to be prioritized. Too often, we tell ourselves to build a habit, but we put it on the back burner when anything else comes up.

The other day, a friend of mine gave me a bit of revelation. He said that he liked that to me, working out is like brushing your teeth. It's just the thing you do in the morning.

First off, I appreciated the compliment. After all, if people compliment you on your discipline, then you must be on the right track. Second, it gave me some perspective on building disciplines. If you do not treat something as so routine that it is just a given, then its liable to be pushed to the back of the list when things change.

Imagine you treated brushing your teeth as something you tried to do when you could or got a chance. Man, you'd love to have nice breath and clean teeth, but life just takes over. You just can't seem to find the time.

You may think it's apples and oranges, but what you prioritize is what you'll make time for. Isn't it funny that we somehow find time to surf the web, watch tv, post on social media, and eat out, but we just can't seem to find that 30 minutes a day to do an active workout?

We define ourselves as too busy when in reality we're investing in other priorities. Instead, just admit that the goal or discipline you say you want is actually low on the priority list. It's just not that big of a deal to you. Then, you might as well walk the next step and say you don't want it.

You may chafe at that, but it's true. We prioritize that which is important to us. If some of the busiest, most successful people in the world can find time to eat right and exercise, then there is no reason we can't.

Along those lines, prioritizing will help you get creative. If you desire to eat healthy and get fit, then being on the road could pose a problem. A lot of us throw up our hands and say, "Well, I just can't help it. I'm on vacation, so I'll eat horribly and start again later."

A person with strong priorities will search out cleaner food, pack their own in a cooler (I do this for long road trips), or work in a cheat day or two to their plan.

Your excuses show your priorities. Make sure those priorities truly align with your goals.

3) Train Resistance to Grow Strength

I may be a big fan of resistance training to get physically strong, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean is, that you need to grow your "No" muscle.

We're faced with lots of opportunities to derail our discipline. Multiple times a day, we may be enticed to go a different direction than our priorities, and often those derailments come at the hands of our friends and family.

Those moments of resistance are uncomfortable. We throw ourselves into doubt about our goals, and the temptation of compromise rears its ugly head.

Learn to grow your "No" muscle by gaining strength and confidence in telling people no when they offer something contrary to your discipline. Take a stand for your own goals and aims, no matter the ridicule you may receive.

A lot of people are insecure about their own choices. They'll justify those decisions, and some may go the extra mile of trying to discredit you or criticize your own choices.

Imagine sitting down with a group of friends who are going to get a few drinks. You choose to abstain. How quickly you hear, "Oh come on, just have one!" or "What? Too good to have a drink with us?"

They may couch it in laughter and give it in a light-hearted frame, but plenty of people are speaking truths and trying to cover those truths.

But let's be frank, what is going on deep down in them shouldn't affect the decision you make at that moment. If you've decided to sacrifice and be disciplined with your life, then what they think shouldn't matter. And they're voicing their opinion needs to roll off your back. Everyone has an opinion, and many believe you should care about their opinion over your own.

Most of those opinions suck.

So take control of your decisions and leave behind allowing some peer pressure or ridicule to get you off your game. You know what you want to do with your life, and they are not in charge of how that comes to pass.

Take These Steps, But be Patient

These steps take time to implement. Instead of sprinting, play the long game. Accept the journey and you'll feel better about the process.

Focusing on taking things in stages, prioritizing properly, and building resistance to distraction will carry you to a position in which you can look back and know that you implemented a truly disciplined lifestyle.

Take on the challenge of transforming. If you want to build deeper, longer-lasting relationships as you grow in confidence, get our newest book, The Hidden Ones - 21 Tactics for Transformation today. Otherwise, visit The Forged to learn more about our exclusive, personal programs that help men in communities across the nation grow every day.